Both Moms to China

Another calm before the storm.

I stand here on the brink of madness.  Silent.  Alone.

In only a few short hours Christine Marie Williamson and Barbara Jeanne Carnini (seriously, that is her name Jeanne Carnini- I wouldn't make that up....even though once at Fred Meyer I asked for her to be paged and they didn't believe me...) will arrive at Beijing International Airport for what can only be called "The Craziest Two Weeks of Calee's Life".

Let me tell you a funny story first.  Once on my birthday my mom and I were in the car after school....can't remember where we were going.  Anyway, she had to stop at Fred Meyer.  I turned 10 that day.

I may not have to tell you this- but I will.  10 year old boys hate going to the store.  Really hate going with their mom cause their mom is FOR SURE going to see someone she knows there....and a quick trip just turned into 2 hours of them talking....all cutting in to your play time.

Being the calculated little snot that I was, I opted to stay in the car (pissed that I was there at all on my birthday) I figured it would add a sense of urgency to the pit stop.  It worked, pretty well really, and she was on her way through the parking lot before I knew it.

And then it happened.

Forgetting that I, in my tissy fit, locked the car doors to make things difficult for no real reason, sat there and watched my mom approach.  At this same point in time someone on the roof of the store, someone I never actually saw, scared up a flock of seagulls.  It was a large flock and they seemed to spring up as if they were very frightened.  I would put the number of seagulls around 200....it was a significant group of birds- though I do understand how a 10 year old kid could remember that number being much higher than it was.

Every single one of those birds went to the bathroom over the parking lot.  Every one of them.  Now I don't know if birds go #1 or #2 or what....kinds seems like a mix- 1.5.  Anyway, it was like Pearl Harbor, but worse.  I saw my mom running for the car, then sprinting.  She went to open the door but like I said- I locked it.  She tried frantically to open it- screaming some profanity through the glass of the door.  I tried in vein to unlock it....but the classic simultaneous attempt to open and unlock proved the winner.  White was splattering everywhere....then darkness.

I think at that point I blacked out.  I knew well what was coming next and from a psychological standpoint,  I believe my body and mind went completely limp involuntarily so as to lessen the blow.  Similar to how one is supposed to react when attacked by a grizzly bear.....just play your shit dead and hope for the least amount of damage.

To my surprise I awoke not to a bright white light...nor in a bed at Merl West Medical Center.  Rather, I came to and we were on our way home.  I quickly flipped down the sun visor to see if it was one or two black eyes.....but both were fine.  I remember thinking "I must have covered my face up before I blacked out" but there was not a mark to be found.

Well, I guess the lesson here is- when you do something awesome at someone else's expense, black out if you think they're going to freak.

All that said, what goes around comes around.

At the end of these next 2 weeks I may be walking toward that bright white light.....but that's not to say I don't deserve it!