Both Moms to China

Another calm before the storm.

I stand here on the brink of madness.  Silent.  Alone.

In only a few short hours Christine Marie Williamson and Barbara Jeanne Carnini (seriously, that is her name Jeanne Carnini- I wouldn't make that up....even though once at Fred Meyer I asked for her to be paged and they didn't believe me...) will arrive at Beijing International Airport for what can only be called "The Craziest Two Weeks of Calee's Life".

Let me tell you a funny story first.  Once on my birthday my mom and I were in the car after school....can't remember where we were going.  Anyway, she had to stop at Fred Meyer.  I turned 10 that day.

I may not have to tell you this- but I will.  10 year old boys hate going to the store.  Really hate going with their mom cause their mom is FOR SURE going to see someone she knows there....and a quick trip just turned into 2 hours of them talking....all cutting in to your play time.

Being the calculated little snot that I was, I opted to stay in the car (pissed that I was there at all on my birthday) I figured it would add a sense of urgency to the pit stop.  It worked, pretty well really, and she was on her way through the parking lot before I knew it.

And then it happened.

Forgetting that I, in my tissy fit, locked the car doors to make things difficult for no real reason, sat there and watched my mom approach.  At this same point in time someone on the roof of the store, someone I never actually saw, scared up a flock of seagulls.  It was a large flock and they seemed to spring up as if they were very frightened.  I would put the number of seagulls around 200....it was a significant group of birds- though I do understand how a 10 year old kid could remember that number being much higher than it was.

Every single one of those birds went to the bathroom over the parking lot.  Every one of them.  Now I don't know if birds go #1 or #2 or what....kinds seems like a mix- 1.5.  Anyway, it was like Pearl Harbor, but worse.  I saw my mom running for the car, then sprinting.  She went to open the door but like I said- I locked it.  She tried frantically to open it- screaming some profanity through the glass of the door.  I tried in vein to unlock it....but the classic simultaneous attempt to open and unlock proved the winner.  White was splattering everywhere....then darkness.

I think at that point I blacked out.  I knew well what was coming next and from a psychological standpoint,  I believe my body and mind went completely limp involuntarily so as to lessen the blow.  Similar to how one is supposed to react when attacked by a grizzly bear.....just play your shit dead and hope for the least amount of damage.

To my surprise I awoke not to a bright white light...nor in a bed at Merl West Medical Center.  Rather, I came to and we were on our way home.  I quickly flipped down the sun visor to see if it was one or two black eyes.....but both were fine.  I remember thinking "I must have covered my face up before I blacked out" but there was not a mark to be found.

Well, I guess the lesson here is- when you do something awesome at someone else's expense, black out if you think they're going to freak.

All that said, what goes around comes around.

At the end of these next 2 weeks I may be walking toward that bright white light.....but that's not to say I don't deserve it!

Pudong

pudong |poo-dong|adjective1 offensive (of a person) unable to speak, most typically because of congenital deafness: he was born deaf, pudong, and blind.• (of animals) unable to speak as a natural state and thus regarded as helpless or deserving pity.• [ predic. ] temporarily unable or unwilling to speak: she stood pudong while he poured out a stream ofabuse.• [ attrib. ] resulting in or expressed by speechlessness: they stared in pudong amazement.2 informal stupid: a pudong question.• (of a computer terminal) able only to transmit data to or receive data from a computer; having no independent processing capability. Often contrasted with intelligent.
There are two types of people in this city- east siders and west siders.  It happens a lot in many cities, Shanghai being no exception.
Xi (pronounced she)- WestDong- East
Puxi is the area of Shanghai west of the Huangpu River, Pudong is the east side.  
The Huangpu River bisects the city, just like the Willamette does back home.  The Yangtze flows north of Shanghai, and the Huangpu dumps into the Yangtze right at the edge of town....again just like in Oregon.  What is the only difference?  The Yangtze flows west to east-  opposite being true for the big Columbia.
What does all this mean?  Well it means that A) this place is ass backward and B) even though its backward, I'm still a west-sider.  Take it or leave it.  And again, the west side is the place to be...Portland or otherwise.
You can hear it in the name.  Puxi is elegant, fresh, euro meets a car with a clutch, open minded, and better.  Pudong sounds, well, pudong.  It's seriously pronounced poo-dong....who made that name up!?  
Now I know there are some east-siders that are going to read this blog and I don't want to hate.  But at the same time it's not my fault you ain't cool.  So I'll focus less on the east/west battle of Portland and focus on the task at hand- degrading the entire east side of Shanghai.
As it turns out 5,044,430 people live in Pudong.  5 Millions Pudongers!  That is more people than there are in Oregon....and check it- 10 years ago there was no Pudong.  Nothing.  It was farm land where they grew food that made westerners sick.  Seriously- in 10 years over 5 million people have moved to this waste of an area.
You may be wondering at this point "Calee, why are you so cool"?  Well, it's a complicated combination of things- none of which I'd expect you to understand.
And then our stupid wireless router wont send signal to the bedroom in our apartment.  I think it wouldn't reach in part because all the walls in this place are concrete.  That was a problem until I googled solutions for a wifi booster and found this beer can set up:

I'm not party rockin, but this is the real deal.  Went from zero bars to hero bars instantly.
My friend Jen from the US seems to be in the know.  Every time I talk to her she knows of some cool new place (bar).  She moved here the same time as me....so I don't know why she's so ahead of the game.  Anyway- we're hitting a brewery on Friday that I'm excited to see!  It's close to our house and beer.  Our house seems to be close to a lot of good places.  Check this one out- this dude Jay opened up a breakfast hole- skater style.  He has a tattoo of a pirate ship and a pelican with boxing gloves smoking a pipe- baller.  He left the restaurant after he got us coffee to go skate for a few on the street- then came and took our order later.  The only decorations in the place are a few skateboards hanging on the wall.

oops- don't know how that second one got in here.  Just never mind that one okay?
While we were in that restaurant we met a US dude who lived in Corvallis for a long time- turns out his stepdad taught high school in Lebanon!  Can you believe they have a high school in Lebanon!?
Since we live real close to the Avocado Lady, I decided to roll down with Little Flower so I could show her the scene and she can do our shopping.  All good except she drove.  And she drives this:

....and she don't slow her role for a white boy.  So I was scared.  But I made it.  The back seat is meant for a kid- I'd say max age 7.....but this is how Chinese people roll, and when in Rome....
In closing, to all you east-siders out there, remember this- the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart and hope is a walking dream....and above all else, believe you can and you're half way there.

A New Direction

A New Direction- that is the name of the boy band Kris Ross, Chris Jones, and Nick Kappas are starting.

Just kiddin.

It's what is going on right here, right now on this blog....as I'm sure you saw above.  We have a new name.  The Shanghai Triplicate.  Why the change?  Thanks for asking.

We are going print.  Print is the new online, and we are cutting edge folk.  Therefore, you'll be needing to call on the phone to order your subscription- which is going to cost you now.  It'll be worth it though.  In fact, our print version is going to be so cool- it'll melt your face off.

Episode 1- Print Version (please print)
by Calee Cariaga

World News

Today I had my first Chinese Language lesson here in China.  As you may remember from some of our old-style "online" posts, I've taken Chinese before....but that was when I was in the US.

Chinese Language lessons here in China:

• Suck
• Are difficult
• Not fun
• Make you feel dumb

It wasn't that bad really....only sounds bad in the print version.  If this was a donkey online posting it would have been bad.

Anyway- my teacher's name is Emily- translation Wang Xing.  But Wang is the last name- here you say the last name first- always.  Makes good sense.  Emily cool- but we met at the People's Square Starbucks.....Chinese translation- busiest place in the world; or loudest room ever; or in this case both.  Emily let me know that she "likes western culture", which I'm sure means we'll be meeting in these authentic western places going forward.  

I can't speak Chinese- but I'm really surprised at how well I can fake it.  Cab ride home- can  get us there.  Order at restaurant- no prob.  Ask for more, less, or whatever- I got it.  Tell someone what I need- easy as pie.

Throw that all straight out the window when you have someone who can speak, read, and write both English and Chinese.  They know you for the fake you are, and they make you pay for it.  So it's back to basics for me.  Noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, particle, something else....I don't even know it in my native tongue.

Second Edition- Print Version (please print)

by Calee Cariaga

Food Review

This is what I had for lunch today.  Don't ask me what it is cause this bro couldn't tell ya.

It was from my new favorite place- Sproutworks.  Sproutworks is a very Portland-style healthy eatery.  Mine tasted like what I would guess rabbit food taste like.

Third Edition- Print Version (please print)

by Calee Cariaga

Lifestyle

I bit hard running today.  Sarah and I got up early as part of our exercise program.  We ran for about 40 minutes by the time we had doubled back to the apartment.  I, flat yoked on some french-press-extra-caffinated coffee thought "I'll run some more".  Clippin, I rounded the corner of Wulumuqi Rd and Anfu Rd.  Unfortunately, that corner happens to have a public trash can on the sidewalk.  In China a public trash can means oozey slime coming out the bottom and onto the street.  I'd like to see you try to take a 90 on that stuff at Kenyan speed.  Needless to say, my feet shot out from under me and I did a motorcycle-style slide right into two people on bikes.  I knew it was bad when even the old Chinese guy hustled up to see if I was ok.  Little did he know I may as well have been the giver in the Mike Tyson Greatest Hits Volume 2 DVD.....I'm that tough and the asphalt paid the price.  I did, however, end up with this little guy:

Oh, and something similar to that on my shin, knee, hip, and noggin.  Like I said- motorcycle style.

In closing, I'd like to leave you with some quotes from a show that was never really my favorite....maybe not even top 8....but was roughly my #2-6 in terms of closing lines.

"I usually don’t like thinking about the future. I mean let’s face it, you can’t predict what’s going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you’re going and just enjoy where you’re at.”

“Sometimes the answer you get is the one you least expect. but more often than not, the answers we’ve been looking for have been inside us all along. i guess the important thing is to never stop searching.“

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it. ”

“I guess in the end, things seldom work out the way you expect. sometimes, fate is on your side. other times, well, you’ve kind of sealed your own fate. either way you have to trust that whatever’s supposed to happen, will happen. “

“I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ‘em happy.”

“The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person”

What's going on America?

Hello?  Is it me you're looking for?

I haven't heard much from anyone lately!?

Dade?  Eric?  Seth?  Hello?  Jen?  Torin?  Anyone home?

I got a quick "you moved!?" Email from Paige....responded, and nada?

Mia- Gino in High School now?

Chris/Mom- you guys coming here in two weeks still?

Kris- still riding dirty?

Seriously- all quiet on the home front...everyone must have their heads down grinding away!?  And I get it.

Yesterday I bought a motorcycle.  Today I sold it.  Don't ask.  Spent all day today ironing out all the issues with the new apartment.  90% done!  I think tomorrow "maintenance" will be here to fix one more thing then we are as good as new.

Sarah has a cold.  Bu hao.  Chinese cold is different than a US cold....there is a long lingering cough.  Guess it's maybe not that different...but seems worse.

I've started a project- making paper airplanes and throwing them off the balcony....see if they'll clear some serious distance.  Best one yet made it what I think was 1 mile....but it's really hard to tell.  Yeah- that's what I do with my time here.  Everyone always asks- now you know.

The weather has turned great here.  The humidity went wwwaaaayyyy down and the temp dropped a little too!  It's now tolerable to cruise the streets.  That allowed me to get out a little this afternoon on the old bike.  Took it down to the avocado lady- that is the name of this little grocery store not too far from our new place.  It's down and dirty- but all foreigners buy fruits and vegetables there with no issues....can't complain about that.

Recently, I've had a new appreciation for this place.  Could be weather related I don't know- but I've begun to recognize the locals around here as people not so different from you and me.  Sure you get spit on, coughed on, stared at....but that just is what it is- and beyond that- there are some decent folks here.  We have some very helpful folks around us that I think we're both thankful for.

Xiao Lan for example- I swear she thinks she's my mom.  The other day I asked her to order the big jugs of drinking water, which she did, and then reminded me "please don't forget" that the water dude would be here at 7.  Then she text me a reminder.....then I forgot, she called the guy and somehow got him to come back once I raced home.  Pretty nice as I obviously made her look bad.

The people who helped us find our apartment have been on the hook 24/7....must have sent them 5 million emails...they answer every one.

I will say though, I'm pretty dumb around here.  Things can be so different- the day to day stuff, that you just don't know the basics sometimes....and all you can do is ask.

Well- you win more than you lose hopefully....and when you come across something that looks like a kangaroo, poke it with a stick and call me silly....and if you haven't seen the movie "Hit and Run"- well then get you down to the DVD store.

Go Pels!

Sailors Take Warning!

The tropical storm that originated in the Philippines has made its way north the Shanghai.

Today at about noon the sky turned very dark and it began to rain like nothing I'd ever seen.

What happened next was unbelievable.  Hadn't I got video of it (or some sort of documentation.....don't know if it qualifies as a video really) I doubt anyone would ever believe me.

I went out on our balcony to check out the madness....and decided to take video to see if I could capture some of the cool thunder/lightening storm.  What happened next, or how long I was out- I can't say for sure....not very long though.  Another, even larger crack of thunder brought me to.  My ears are still ringing.....

Chae To Shanghai/ The Big Move

Has a ring to it.

Next in line to me in terms of making willy-nilly, last minute, borderline irresponsible, on the fly decisions is Chae....and I appreciate it.  Can't keep a dude on lock down- and the harder you try, the more elusive he'll be.

Of all the people who have, will, or are maybe gonna come here- I think Chae is the best fit and I'm excited for it!  The reasons for this are, but are not limited to:

• She's Asian/Pacific Islander
• Black hair
• Incredibly short for her age
• Same age as the majority of the population in SH
• Travels well cause she doesn't need to brush her teeth consistently 
• Laughs at my dumb jokes, loudly

Her travel will begin mid November and she'll be headed home on November 24th.  We have about 10 days to cram it all in!  

Luckily I saved the spreadsheet I made for Dade's visit...which should give me a good starting point to ensure that we cover all the Shanghai stops- and then some!

Looks like we'll be meeting in Beijing to do a quick run to the Great Wall....then it's the fast train to Shanghai....same thing I did with Dade and will be doing in two weeks with our moms.  By the time she gets here- I'll be a registered Beijing tour guide- and I'll be charging her a fee.

Next up- we're moving tomorrow!  Want to know what I've done to get ready for our big move?  Well I'll tell ya- nothing.  Packed, planned, cleaned, organized?  Nah.  BUT- the cool news is that we can have a BBQ in our new place....and I saw a place selling them the other day.  The real question is- can we buy propane somewhere here?

You know- since the olympics you are not allowed to buy gas for anything other than a car/scooter.  In other words- you can't fill up a gas can.  That little fact makes me nervous about trying to find a place to load up a propane tank.

Ok- one last thing.  I know I have just kinda been writing blogs about whatever little things have been going on around here and they suck.  So- I'm committing now to throwing down some seriously good blogs.  The "Old Calee" kind that cleverly make fun of the blog subjects and readers at the same time....with double, triple, or quadruple meanings....that rhyme....stay tuned, as soon as this move is done I'm going rouge-hardcore-with an eye patch.  Not a pirate eye patch either....I'm talking old Russian KGB agent who spent some time in a Ukrainian prison eye patch.

Humidity, Humility, and Humanity

It is terribly hot and humid here today.  Worse than usual....which is bad.

I went for a run this morning and my shorts were falling off cause they we so heavily soaked in sweat.  That is no joke- I had to run holding my pants up.

By mid-morning I had build up the courage to go back outside....after freezing myself out in the AC.

I made it exactly one block from the gate into our complex and had to turn around- go back to our apartment- and change my shirt.  One block.  Had to call David to come pick me up.

Spent the night before last, and all day yesterday throwing up.  Today I busted Little Flower's chops because I thinks she'd been cooking with the regular tap water- not the bottled water....which makes a dude from the US sick.

Not all blog posts can be good blog posts.

Thailand...

Hello from Thailand!  Just kiddin.  Flight cancelled.

As quickly as I came up with the sweet idea of going to Thailand (and booked a flight), it was gone.

I knew something was wrong when I was in the check-in line.  Everything was moving along at a great speed.  Then, with about 3-4 people in front of me, everything came to a halt.  Every ticket agent looked scared, and every one of them was on the phone all of a sudden.  You could feel the anxiety.

Those 3 people in front of me took about 20 minutes each.....and then it was my turn.

"I'm sorry to inform you that your flight is delayed"....I asked for how long....."I don't know" is the answer I got.

Long story short, they tried to find me a direct flight, my previous flight connected through Hong Kong.  Nothing available.  Then they tried to coax me into some donkey of a route that would have pinned me in Hong Kong for like 10 hours....and put me in Phuket at around 11am the next day!

Ain't nobody got time for that.  Especially since I only had two days there.

So I threw a fit.  Next thing I know- security- some other people....plain clothed security (that was a first)....and I ended up walking away mad but not in jail.

Immediately, I emailed Sarah's assistant and asked her to see if she could help me get my money back since it was a Chinese airline and their customer service phone line is 98% Chinese language.....and she came through pretty well.....as usual.  I have to get that chick some sort of thank you gift, she's always helping me out.

Anyway, I emailed Pornsak Pornjaren, swear to god that's his name.....given and sir both begin with the word porn.....but don't judge cause he's a cool dude.  Anyway, I emailed him and told him no dice.  He's the manager of the little bungalow village I was going to camp at.  Since he doesn't require any money up front....he just said no prob.  Even if I had paid something- it was like $6 USD a night....wouldn't have killed me.

It all needed to work like clockwork.  I needed to get there early enough today to settle in quick style and get a little time on the motorcycle.  Wake up early tomorrow morning and fish...kick it some...and crash so I could get up early again and fish.  Leave Thailand thursday morning so I could be back in time to get one or two things done, then move to the new place Friday.

Why even walk you through it....

All told, I feel a sense of relief.  This morning I woke up early, way early...so I decided  to go for a run.  No sooner did I get going and it started pouring rain.  Ran anyway figuring I'd burn off the beers I was going to drink on the beach....came back up to the house, key gone.  Gonzo.  Goner.

Not a good way to start the day since we only have one key to this place.  I think I lost the other key too.....but I secretly think Sarah lost her key- then took mine and faked like it never happened.  At any rate, only one key.  I retraced my run....but no luck.

I also heard mention at the ticket counter of some serious delays in Hong Kong.  I had visions of a Snowden-style airport marathon....and figured I'd cut bait.  Something was off today and with my travel luck I didn't want to push it.  Also, both Sarah and David said something to me, separately, about being safe....and it gave me a bad feeling that something bad was going to happen.  Remember this when tomorrow there is another horrible tsunami or something.  Or, maybe the bad thing happened right away.  Whatever the case- I feel like I got away with something today....and now I can't shake the feeling that I was supposed to be on that flight- and since I wasn't fate is going to try to catch up with me.  Just like the show Lost....OMG- I'm Frank Lapidus!

In closing, we all spend but a blink of an eye on this planet.  You win some, you lose some, but you gotta suit up for them all....and there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.  If you fall seven times, stand up eight.  Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible, and a man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

By Calee Cariaga
Boss of Little Flower
Shanghai, China
2013

Frank Lapidus?  Or Caleedus?

Foolery...

Sarah has a lot of meetings this week.  Big ones.....the kind where everyone is here and they all hammer out all the decisions for the next year, or the next few billion dollars.

Work early- dinners every night after work.....it's admirable and difficult (I imagine).  I'm proud of her and what she does.  I'd like to celebrate her career.

Therefore, I (again), pulled a completely irresponsible move, and booked a flight to Khao Lak, Thailand.  What the hell was I gonna do all week anyway if she's working all day and night?

I "rented" a camp site on the beach- which has a bar...?...with internet access.  Got a ride to and from the airport in Phuket, rented a motorcycle, and found a boat to drop me off on a nearby island to fish.....cost- about $100 total (without airfare).  Now that is cheap!  Yes, it's just a camp site....but the motorcycle and boat rental?  Killer deal!

The weather is going to be donkey....rain on and off....bout 86 degrees....but- I'm just going to fish so what do I care?

I'll have to check a bag since I have hooks and line and knives which they don't let you carry-on any more....but beyond that, should be easy as pie.

Sometimes you have to just say "phuket" and do what you got to do......

If I don't post in a day or two from Thailand, call in the calvary- cause I got arrested again....

The White Cat

Ran into this little tinker today....

Which is a great lead into this....

We are moving.

New apartment in a new building in a new neighborhood.  That is to say- a new white apartment.  With white fixtures.  I'll show you pictures later.  The important thing now is that I'm trying to hijack this cat....but I couldn't catch it this morning.

This is unfortunate because I've already decided that I want it.  So much so that I've emailed our agent to let her know that our rental contract will need to include us having a cat.  Then I made a vet appointment for this Saturday at Shanghai PAW Vet Clinic.

Meanwhile, I've got some of my people working on a cool name for it.

Just need to catch it.

So the plan is for Sarah, David, and I to corner it when Sarah is home from work.  But the problem is I'm not going to touch a cornered stray cat.....hence why David is going to be involved.  Native people are probably immune to whatever anyway.

That is the plan.  Once its all over- I'm gonna have a cool all white cat with sky blue eyes.....and he's gonna kick it in our new apartment and have a cool name.  That's as cool as ice cream with chocolate syrup and whip cream on top isn't it?

Anyway, I got a new computer.  The last time I bought a computer was 2001.  It was a simple time, and I was a simple guy.  Sarah and I decided to split the cost, as we had just moved in together in San Francisco.  She went to CompUSA on Market Street on a Saturday when I was at work and picked it out.  She had to take a cab home that day because the box was too big to trek home on the N line.  It was an iMac and we loved it dearly.

 


















It was really ahead of its time and was relevant until 2004.  It managed to make itself a fixture in our lives until late 2009 at which point it was recycled properly in accordance with state and federal regulations.

Well the new one is a piece of work.  It took me half a day to figure out how to scroll....no scroll bars on the new Macs!?  And this one is a laptop, not a desktop.  So there.

If you rock an iPhone you got to gets you a Macintosh.  They pair up well and simply.  I didn't have to do anything....just turned it on and entered my email address and pow!  All my contacts, emails, notes, and calendars were ready to roll.

Hey being home for 3 months made me forget how bad international travel sucks.  Got used to the Oregon time zone....so woke up at 2:45am.  Out of bed by 3:00am.  Breakfast by 6:00am.  Lunch at 11:00am.  Starving for dinner by 4:00pm.  But....

I knocked out a cranker today!  While trying to organize some of our crap ahead of my meeting with the moving company I found a sweet wireless/bluetooth stereo.  Apparently Sarah won it at work.

It works great with our phones and computers from anywhere in the house.  So I mounted it in this:

Sweet huh?  It's made out of wood....was a marketing fixture in one of Sarah's stores.  Gonna look way cooler in the new place too- with a white cat next to it.  This is all coming together better than I hoped.

I made one of these before for Sarah's office, but this one dominates the first one.  You could actually go wireless with this one and carry it down to the park or something if you wanted....right now it's playing Glitch Mob....and doing it like it means it.  I can flip songs and adjust volume on my phone and there is no lag in it at all.....just works.

Last I'd like to send a shout out to Chae Cariaga.  She always likes my photos on Instagram.  Even the crap ones.  Thanks Chae- keep hopin' to grow, you won't always live low, as far as you know.  I have to go....

Craigslist Rants and Raves

Today we will be covering my favorite topic- me.

I'm changing my outlook on life.

For those of you who knew the old homeboy- say peace out.  Yes, I was a bum before.  No real job, lazy....well I'm taking this life to the next level.  No big deal.

From here on out, I'm going to take the following things seriously:

• Nothing

There you have it.  Capital N.  I don't care.  I, under no circumstance, am going to take anything seriously.

Enough about me though.  Let's talk about YOU.  Ok enough about you.

I'm all in a mood cause I be traveling.....so here you go- my usual airport rant/rave blog.....

Some guy keeps walking by and his shoes are all loud.  Shut your shoes up bro!  This ain't tap class, we're not in Catskills, and you ain't Fred Astaire.

Next up- to the people in Costco who stop in the middle of the isle to sample the junk food....move your basket, you're in everyone's way!  Even God is probably bothered by you right now.

To you who waits 15 minutes in the parking lot for someone to leave their parking spot- WALK.  Walking is good for you.  Sitting in your car all day is not.  This is what you win by getting a spot close to the door- nothing.  That is one item less than what you win if you shoot out the star at the carnival.

Dear Mr. In My Bubble- when I'm simply trying to occupy a single space- please don't try to occupy the same single space.  It's basic physics.  Go back to the 5th grade since you didn't learn it the first time.  

To the dude who passed me all summer on Murray Rd. when I was running- get a new car.  Cars don't make people cool.  That applies to you too.

To everyone who saw me in March- just tell me I look fat.  I'd rather know sooner than later.  Just call it like you see it.

Cirrus clouds- why are you so high in the sky?  Think you're all cool up there at or above 18,000 feet?  Well you are not.....come join the rest of us down here.

Do you have a pirate ship?  Cause if so, I've wanted one since before you have....and I don't like that you have one and I don't.  Sailors beware, I'll steal your little ship.

Last but not least- to the dude who works on his car- not because its a hobby car.....but because that is how you have to spend your Sunday so that you can get to work on Monday- I respect you.  You are my kind of dude.  Let's keep plugging away at this world and see where we end up.  Hopefully both in the same place!

MTV Summer Break 2013- Closing Ceremonies

Well our 2013 summer break  is coming to a close.  With that, the blog is getting some action.  

There are big things to come for this blog, expect to be blown away in the coming weeks.  China, travel, quirky relationship updates, and so much more.....

But before that, lets take some time to reflect on this year's MTV Summer Break:

• Fishing
• Fun
• Beer
• Camping
• Tennis
• Family 
• Friends
• Bikinis
• Sun
• Fresh Air
• Rafting
• Donkey
• Boating
• Shopping
• Singing
• Dancing
• Birthdays

....and much more.....as all good things must come to an end, I'll leave you with this:

Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here 

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home 

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home 

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

I know who I want to take me home 
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home 

Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Taiwan!

Made it to Taipei, Taiwan!

Bittersweet though.  

I could tell right away that this city is cool.  Clean, people are helpful and friendly, drivers obeying traffic laws, nature mixed with city.....similar to Hong Kong.

All this made me think of this analogy- Shanghai is similar to maybe Cleveland....maybe a dull Sacramento....Detroit?  Whatever- what I mean is When they built Shanghai they pretty much bull dozed everything in their way, poured 12 trillion tons of concrete on the ground, and called it good.

As a result, it lacks character and depth when you consider it's natural surroundings and environment.

Unfortunately what you get is dirty air and cranky people (in my opinion).

Hong Kong and Taipei aren't like that.  There are large swaths of natural forest, hills, clean waters, and on and on....all reminding me of home.

Enough.

I booked a fishing guide to take me out tomorrow.  They'll pick me up at the hotel and take me to the Yeelee River.  $100 gets you a full day fishing, transportation, and lunch.  Don't tell my clients that!

That was the good news.  The bad news is that I told my guide I brought a 3 weight fly rod and he said it was too heavy!

By Oregon standards, a 3 weight is light, and small- stocked fish are usually on the agenda when you're talking 3 weight.....so if a 3 weight is too heavy here- how small are the fish?  Guess we'll see.....

Last, in 3 days Sarah and I have been in Hong  Kong- back to Shanghai (one night), and are now in Taipei.  Funny thing is Taipei and Hong Kong feel similar because we're staying at the same hotel- and both have views of some of the worlds tallest buildings.  Just odd.

I leave you with some photos of the views- first in HK, second in TT....

Ok.....

Ok, ok, ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok.....

I'm not gonna lie.

I ain't be tellin no non truth  yo.

Straight up here you go.....

If you haven't been to Hong Kong you need to go.

I think god put me on this earth just to spread the word of Hong Kong!  This place is sweet!

First of all- most all the chicks have most their teeth.  Take that shanghai!  

Second- about one in five people on the street are "western".....feels like home!

Third- the food is donkey on Opposite Day.

What more do you want?  Move it folks and get you some!

Congratulations!

To Chris and Shuree Jones of Portland Oregon!

Shuree did the truffle shuffle and out came Quendra.....just like on Goonies with the bowling ball....except it was a baby.

At 8 pounds 9 ounces, Quendra came in smack in the middle of summer and winter steelhead size....more on the summer steelhead size I'd say....but then again- not everyone catches big fish!

In honor of her birth, I wrote a poem:

Congrats to Chris and Shuree

We hope she looks like uncle Calee

For that is as good as can be

Remember this when she is three

At least she knows where to pee

At four or five she'll come alive

And you both will take a dive

But look not for a place to thrive

And rather just stay alive

Soon she'll be a pre teen

And your buddy ross is a dancing queen

But 8th grade is only the beginning 

Boyfriends soon with a promise ring

High school will come and go

College will soon follow

By that time we'll all be old

Quendra still young and bold

But our time will fade away

Your legacy, here to stay.....

By Calee Cariaga

Hong Kong!

Dude- this is not me just saying this because I know everything like I do.....I'm saying this cause it is what it is.

Hong Kong is 3 times cooler than the coolest city in the mainland.

Top 10 things about Hong Kong:

1.  Clean Air

2.  Friendly People

3.  Good Food

4.  Outdoor Activities

5.  Clean Streets

6.  Beaches

7.  Disneyland

8.  English Language 

9.  Shopping

10.  Donkey

Didn't see that #10 coming did you?  Well it's true.

We are staying next door to the worlds 3rd tallest building- in Kowloon...and we have a cool view of the bay looking on Hong Kong Central.  I'll include some pics.  

Tonight we are going to an area called mid level to check out the scene, then to the sneaker street to check out the shoes, then to the temple night market to check out the.....temple night market.

Tomorrow we are gonna try to pull off a 10k over a ridge called Dragons Back.  It ends up in an old village called Shek O....which is apparently cool.

Tomorrow night I'm getting my tattoo, if I can find the place I read about.  It's gonna be cool.

Sunday we're gonna kick it before we bounce back to SH.  I kinda want to check out one of those old Chinese style boats- they call them "junk boats" here....but the activity list in the hotel has wake boarding as a possibility.....and there are sharks in the bay.....and I've always wanted to try to take on a shark.

Last week Dade and I rallied Beijing- here are some pics from that trip, and one pic from our hotel here.....I tried to get these BJ pics up before but we have been having some Internet issues at home....

It's a tall, tall world....

It's a world of gas fumes, a world of gray.

It's a world of carbon and urban decay.

There's some junk in the air, that its time you're aware, it's a smog, smog world.

Today Dade and I forked out $17 to ride the world's fastest elevator to the world's highest observatory deck.

The viewing deck is situated 1614 feet above street level. To give you an idea, the Empire State Building is 1454.

The observatory deck had glass floors, and floor to ceiling glass windows. It was stomach churning to say the least.

Unfortunately, the view from 1614 feet can sometimes suck. Especially on a day when the smog index is over 200.....which it was.

Enough said- here are the pictures from the world's highest observatory.

Note- the building in picture 4 is taller than than any building in Oregon.

Silence In Shanghai

When I was a kid, maybe 7 or 8 years old I was at my grandma's house....my mom's mom Barbara's.  I can't remember what I was doing, but I distinctly remember her turning at me, a bit irritated, and saying "Calee go sit on the davenport!".  I had enough sense to listen to what she said....but I had no idea what the hell a davenport was.  A bit frightened, and in a flail of a guess, I went into the laundry room and sat on the dryer.

That is a true story and my point is I've been around long enough to know the sound of crap when it's about to hit the fan.  You want to know what that sound is?  Silence.

That has been the last two weeks here in Shanghai.  Sarah and I have been here for 2 weeks straight.....no quick, or long trips out, just straight Shanghai.  Silent.

Well that's about to come to a close.  Sarah leaves for the US tomorrow, the day before Dade arrives here.  Dade and I will be here for a few days then will be travelling to Beijing to breath some particularly bad air.  Sarah gets back sometime while we are gone.  We get back for a day and Dade leaves....at which point Sarah and I are travelling to Hong Kong.  Once back from Hong Kong we're here for three days then going to Taiwan....then I'm out to the US.  And on and on.  Sarah's birthday, August to US, September all over the place.....it just doesn't stop.....and all of a sudden here I am- the very person I swore I'd never be.  The planning in advance kind.

I don't like to plan.  I can't stand it when I hear someone say "We might have one weekend at the end of July" or "I wish I could but I'm booked until September".

So, what am I going to do about it?  Can Sarah and I avoid it?  In short, yes. 

In what many would consider complete irresponsibility, I'm quitting my job.  I'm changing my future plans to come home to I don't know when.....and am probably just going to show up one day at your house needing a place to stay.  We're going to bail for Sarah's birthday and hope we don't need a visa for where ever we show up.  I'm bailing to Alaska to fish, and we're going to close out the year with a backpack and a sleeping bag.  Maybe in Australia, maybe in your living room....we'll know a few days in advance.

Like I said before, we wish to live deliberately- and to see if we can not learn what the world has to teach....and not, when we come to die discover that we have not lived.....

Unfortunately it is probably time for me to fess up and let you know that I stole that line the first time I used it from Stewie Griffin from Family Guy.  This time I couldn't remember it so I cut and copied it from a previous blog.

Last, a while back Driver David went bow hunting over here and shot a pheasant.  Knowing that I use feathers to tie flies he brought me some pheasant tail from the bird he shot.  Well, this was before that whole bird flu thing really came along....and so I accepted the gift with open arms.

Fast forward to this last week and I've had time to tie up some flies for my trip to Klamath.  I sprayed the tail feathers with Lysol and called it good.  I've tied these in years past and every year they seem to evolve.  This year they include Chinese pheasant tail, olive rabbit fur with rubber legs, Hungarian partridge, the wing is goose and the collar is peacock....a blend of H7N9 if I've ever seen one.  So I'm going to name it either "Calee's Bird Flu Fly", "H7N9 Trout Slayer", or "Trout Influenza"......not sure which yet but I promise it'll catch fish!






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Modern Engineering and Happy Birthday Christine!

I just don't get it.  Everyone loves puppies and kittens.  If you say you hate kittens, you're a liar....unless you're allergic.  Then I'd hate them too.

So this is what I think, and if you disagree, go find another rad blog....

We have engineered everything.  Bridges that span miles, space ships, submarines.  We've covered every inch of this world.....even been to the moon.

We can make watermelons more juicy, corn more sweet, cows more lean.

We can turn air and water into electricity, fire, the wheel, bronze tools and more.

All that crap and no one has figured out how to bio-engineer pets.  I'd like a pure white long hair kitty that doesn't shed, and will only ever grow to 40% full size.  Is that really too much to ask?  Considering what we've accomplished, I don't think so.  I will give the first person to come up with this a cool $100 cash.

I'm on a roll.....so here is stellar idea #2- how about a small street store/booth, like a newspaper stand style shop that you'd find in a big city.  The shops walls rotate around, and have three faces.  So in the morning your booth sells newspapers, coffee, maybe bagels.  At 3pm you rotate your wall once and it's full of candy and toys for the kids who just got out of school.  At 5pm it rotates again and now you're selling beer, cigarettes, maybe umbrellas on a rainy day....get my drift...?  Why hasn't this caught hold?  This is easy stuff....anyway, the intellectual capital belongs to me- don't touch.

Update on Little Flower:

This was Little Flower's first week and it's been dope.  She's already way better than Po was (no offense Po).  So on Wednesday she and I went to the store so I could show her what kind of stuff we buy- and she'll make sure we always have it.  IOW- she's going to do most of our grocery shopping for us....which is just flat crazy that, as we all know, I really have no responsibility here, and I still can't manage to lift a finger. 

We went to the foreigner market, and she balked at the prices of stuff there....then offered to take me to E-Mart, a big Target style store not too far from our house.  I didn't really pay too much attention to most of it- but I did notice they had Ting Tao beer- 22oz- for 2 RMB.  That's 40 cents folks.  Needless to say, I was all over the pijiu (that means beer in Chinese).

After the store, we walked back to our house and she showed me some other local shops.  Nothing I haven't seen yet- but interesting to have her pointing out what they actually were....a lot of times I just walk by- half jaw dropped at the madness.  On our walk back she explained that she's been an ayi for 24 years here in Shanghai!

Long story short, she's money....she did ask me about my family some, and I made the mistake of telling her that I have 6 brothers and sisters, so she asked about each and their age....then asked how old my mom was.....and I had to start back tracking.....and she never really understood any of it in the first place....so now I think she thinks I was lying.  This is the kind of crap you have to deal with all the time around here.  My advise to you is this- when in another country, answer "yes" or "no" to every single question anyone ever asks you.  It's much more simple.

Along those lines, Mikey B asked me if I could hook up a mountain bike frame for cheap.  As you all know, I love these kinds of projects- but seriously....I don't know if its the language barrier or the way business is done around here but it's been 400 conversations, covering the same 4 points for 4 days now (4 is an unlucky number here BTW.  You'll never see a building with a 4th floor).  Its real simple- 21 inch frame, 29 inch wheel size, aluminum, how much?  Be my guest if you think you can make any headway over here with something this easy.....and let me tell you- any time the answer has anyting to do with "the factory"- you're in trouble.

Written by Calee Cariaga in a letter to you.  April 19, 2013


HAPPY BIRTHDAY Christine Williamson of Lebanon Oregon! 
Christine, mother of the 1995 Strawberry Festival Queen turns 61 today!  Arriving in Oregon via covered wagon on the Oregon Trail, Christine is now old enough to "remember when this was all fields as far as the eye could see".  If you ever get a chance to sit down with "Chirs" as her friends and family call her, you'll be in for a treat of a history lesson as she will give you first hand accounts of; the invention of the wheel, the spanish inqusition, or the civil war. 

As a baby Christine was raised by native tribes, now called Neanderthal, and as a young girl growing up in the ice age she has fond memories of riding the wooly mammoth.  Her teenage years were spent chasing "totonka" (also know as buffalo) in the fields and prairies of her back yard.  Fast forward to today and you can find her working in her yard with her beloved husband Steve, cooking in the kitchen (just kiddin!), or spending time with her grandchildren. 

You can see her documentary on the History Channel website here:

www.olderthandirt.historychannel.com

61 and still rolling!  Happy Birthday Christine!!!

Written in a twitter update- time stamp 5:11pm

A Quick Comparison

Check it.....a few posts ago I took a photo of the sunrise from our balcony. Today I took another photo from the same spot.

The difference is smog.....

Thunder Bear Poll

Emotions are high after my previous post about Kris naming his scooter. Private messages to me have indicated that his scooter name should not change.

Therefore, I'm going to help him find a logo via a poll on this blog. Here are the two leading candidates- the first from Eric, the second from Kris himself. Please post your votes....or submit links to artwork that you think should be considered.

Chris "knock out" Jones submitted the third logo "playing for keeps"

Junk Mail

I woke up to this email this morning:

All,

I’ve thought hard about this and the decision wasn’t easy.  It’s taken over a year and I harken back to the research compiled and the published paper written by a colleague which can be foundHere circa 2012.  The methodology in this paper is sound, but I haven’t followed it exactly.  What’s in a name?  A name should stir an emotional response.  It may be a direct rip off, but if you don’t know where it came from I won’t tell you.  With that I give to you the new name of the Honda Ruckus:

God, I don't even know where to start with this one.  First, who names their scooter?  Maybe a motorcycle- for sure a boat......why not just put tassels on the handlebars to match the banana seat?  Thunder Bear?  All I can envision is some big, hairy, wanna-be motorcyclist wearing only jeans and a black leather vest somewhere in the Castro District.....and take that from the one who used to go clubbin' there with his wife and her friends after they got me drunk.  If you're reading this, no offense Thunder Bear, hope all is well.

My gut reaction was to grab his underarm, you know- the inside of his arm at the triceps with my thumb and fingers digging into his biceps, the power hold....like his mom used to in Market Basket (more on grocery stores in a minute).....anyway, grab his underarm and shake it violently while yelling under my breath "you're embarrassing me!", you go Coy.

However, in this post 9/11 world I see it more beneficial to be positive and helpful.  Plus, I realize that not everyone can be good at making up names.  I'm not really.  There are only a few people I know that actually are.  Nick Kappas taking the cake- that dude will give you a nickname inside 10 minutes of meeting you that is not only fun and catchy- but also sums up your entire life in one word.

Like I said, I'm not great at making up names....but I am good at: stealing other's ideas, copying things and making them my own, making fun of people, integrating the word donkey into every blog, and contracting bird flu from our friend and Sarah's old high school buddy Jill.

Combine this ridiculous set of skills and you get not only a good name for a scooter, but a logo too.  Trust you me, I didn't want to get involved in this one....but what can you do?  Here is the new name and logo for Kris' scooter:

That's right- the new name is Sherm's Thunderbird.  Deal with it.  Snap.

Calee out.